waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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