Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
