yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
