and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
