we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
