white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
