are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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