I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
