I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
