Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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