apparently the secret to your success is patron
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
