we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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