I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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