idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
