when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
