What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
