haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
