How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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