Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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