You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
