He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
