So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
