All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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