You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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