so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She bit a glass in half.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
