Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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