I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
