I could have mohawked her pubes.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
