when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
