So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
