We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
