I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
