Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
