WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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