I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
