Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
