Can Purell be used as lube?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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