he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
