Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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