i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
