I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
farters have to be the big spoon...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
