On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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