dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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