He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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