We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
