Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
