all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
