mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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