I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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