i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
